Mike

05:21 pm: Happy St. Patricks Day indeed!
I think I'm cursed by some sort of St. Patrick’s Day Leprechaun. My day started out good. Went to school, which was a waste of time and a waste of a good drive seeing as how I didn't learn anything. Besides, leaving school Tuesdays and Thursdays leave me in a depressed state of my failing chemistry grade...(awwwww) So then, on the way home my tire blows out. So I jack it up, and put the donut on, and drives to Discount Tire. Some discount....near 100 bucks for 2 tires. By the by, my other tire was bald flat so I pretty much had to replace that one. I sat there for like, 90 minutes. Within which time I walked to McDonalds for a shamrock shake! And I also found something interesting there, but we'll talk about that later. Then I lost my wallet. It was amazing! So I drive around looking for it, turns out it was at Lyndsey's house since I stopped by there on the way home. And it's only 6ish!! Okay! Now enough about that. I was ordering food at McDonalds. Now, there were two registers...but there was also something more. A third 'express' register. Now McDonalds has an express register. Apparently fast food isn't fast enough anymore, there needs to be an express aisle. How hungry must a person be...that they can't wait...what, 30 seconds for a hamburger? That just about killed me...an express aisle at McDonalds... So anyways, hopefully my bad luck Leprechaun is gone. And......so am I! Bye!

05:55 pm: Another one of Mike's old get rich quick schemes!
Ah yes, and tiss true! But remember, any moron can get rich with paper with the pictures of Lincoln and Washington and Benny F. My plan promises riches in large amounts of copper! And silver! I was getting some lunch for Lyndsey today, at Tim Horton’s. Now, I've never noticed this before...but I can assure you I will be looking every time. The bill ended up to be like, $7.59 I think. Now, that's a decent hunk of change. 2 quarters, a nickel and several pennies....4....pennies....anyways, as I am giving the drive through window person my money........oops! Butterfingers! She drops like, all the pennies. Now mind you, she didn't seem to care about a few pennies no sir. She shrugged it off and proceeded to put my food in the bag. I think...hmmm...I lean over. Just to take a peak at the pennies that would soon be forgotten amongst the trash of cigarette butts and used gum. But low and behold! No gum or butts were to be found! Instead, beams of silver and copper alike shot through the dirt of the drive through runway! I was almost beside myself, as a starred intensely at this disregarded treasure that had probably shared the same fate as my pennies. I looked around...quickly...I opened my door...just a crack! ...And rescued that which had befallen my captivated eyes. Though I could not retrieve it all...upon further inspection of my prize...I had acquired a total 80 cents worth of shimmering splendor! There had to have been 2 dollars in loose change laying there, forgotten...waiting... So remember this when you yourselves travel the way of so many before you. When you have a moment, look down...and see. Yes my friends, see, and believe.

06:22 pm: Yes....gooood.....goooood
What an eventful day. Okay, listen to this one. So I'm sitting in chemistry class. Completely oblivious to everything he was talking about....my lab partner too. You remember him. The one I was talking about Einstein to. Anyways, we're both completely lost in this lecture. He's talking about sigma bonds and pi bonds, then some long shpeel about the molecular orbital theory where you need sigma 1, then different s orbital then other sigma orbital then pi orbital, then sp3 hybridized carbon atoms contained by certain compounds.....and we're sitting there sucking our thumbs. Not literally of course...sillies. Then he starts talking about how to find Bond Orbitals. He starts writing the equation on the board... BO= something something. We just saw the B.O. and just started cracking up. Hee hee! B.....o.......! Hmm...That was funnier in my mind. And I can't even save it. Oh well. Anyways......what else what else......ummm......man I got nothing...... Did I see anything funny today at least? Huh...no not really...Tuesdays are so uneventful. No matter how hard pizza joints try, you can't make Tuesdays exciting. And apparently I can't think of any way to make this entry any more interesting. So...Bye!

01:36 pm: Update? Sure! Why not?
On my mark, get set....here I go!!
Well I suppose I should get the most important things out of the way first. But which...okay, I'll say a late happy anniversary to the lil' lady Lyndsey. Second most important thing. I've always thought there were people in college that you could like, hardly know and have an intelligent conversation with. Well, I've had few so far, but the one today was priceless. My partner in my chem class and I were talking about how much of your brain you actually used. Then we started talking about Einstein. I've never though a conversation could have existed about Einstein or brains that contained that many F-bombs. I'll give an example, "Man, that f*cking Einstein used like, 20% of his f*cking brain. That's so f*cking ridiculous. Could you imagin using that much of your f*cking brain? Sh*t dude, if I used like, 100% of my f*cking brain, I'd totally be like, a f*cking genius. F*cking Einstein." ...Yup. I always heard you used like, less than 10% of your brain....and Einstein used 15% or something. But needless to say, my chem partner and I didn't see eye to eye when it came to my next statement. I said something like, "If you used 100% of your brain, I bet you could levitate desks. And read minds. Totally read minds. And you'd probably go crazy from all the knowledge going through your head at once." His response was something like, "Man, you could never lift a f*cking desk with your mind dude. But yeah, you're right about going crazy. I'd defiantly go f*cking crazy." But on to bigger and better things......I saw the coolest accident the other day. This small focus slid totally underneath a huge semi truck. It had no front end left. Ziiipp, gone! Nobody was hurt I don't think......................but man what a crash. Let's see....anything else? I update so rarely...hmm...don't wanna write too much...alright then, that's it. See ya!

09:08 pm: So I'm updating? Crazier things have happend.
I was totally screwed the other day. Okay, you'll all enjoy this one. So I'm buying a pop from a vending machine. A mountain dew. My dollar is...you couldn't find a better dollar. It was crisp, un-creased! Impeccable! Okay, so I put the dollar in...and! It spits it out. Hmm. One could write this in as a fluke. So I tries it again. Spits it out! This is one picky machine. After about....I dunno, 10 tries I get an idea. There is a candy machine right next to the pop machine. So I think, "I will put my crisp non-folded dollar into the candy machine. Push the eject button, and get back a ravel of quarters! This can't miss!!!" So I put in my dollar. This machine eats it all up. Gobble gobble. So here comes my plane. EJECT!!! ...is pushed. Dah...dah dah dah...Machines don't normally take this long to eject money....so I waited....then presumed with the all-American solution when something powered by the push of a simple button doesn't work fast enough. Press it about a million more times. The machine is not giving me change back. Nothing!! I tell you, I have never been unhappier to eat Mike and Ikes....ever....in my life. So anyways…besides the vending machines….pshh….college is fine whatever. But what’s a college without a decent vending machine? Huh?? Yeah you know. Well, that’s about it. Until next time. Bye everyone!

05:02 pm: Aluminum gas tank
Ahhh, yet another journal worthy entry starts... NOW!! You guys won't believe this one. I still don't believe it! That's just how unbelievable it is. Are you ready to unbelieve too? Good. Cuz here goes: (Wiggling wavy lines symbolizing flashback) I was driving home today. Everybody loves driving home. So here I am driving, and I notice this black Blazer has something written on the back of it, surrounded by smiley faces. I became deeply, deeply, intrigued. So I try getting behind this car to read what it says...unfortunately, the writing is beyond my pathetic normal human sight. So I trys getting closers. Still nothing. Gas was wearing thin on my poor 4 cylinder. So...my search sadly had to end as I regrettably pulled into the gas station. To make my disappointment worse, the gas station was charging me $1.99 per gallon!! Forget that. So I went to another gas station...they charged me $1.91! Woo! So I goes to pay for gas, and I see this woman buying like, 4 packs of cigarettes. Then I start to leave, and what do I see? The very same blazer I was in pursuit of! I look behind it, and see all the smiley faces! And the writing! I finally had a chance to read it! It said, "At least I can still smoke in my car." ...I could only think to myself………………………………wow.………………………………….I felt very fulfilled. I also felt fulfilled when this loser thinking he was a bad ass in a nice sports car tried to pass me by going around traffic by cutting threw a sub, and ended up pulling out behind me instead. Yes. What a day. Ahhh.... Well that was my update. I'll see all you people around!

10:57 pm: So then, I decided to update my journal.......
Here I am here I am. Honestly I have nothing to write about. But I felt compelled to write an entry about something. How about those strange guys that work at premier lanes? You know who I'm talking about... These guys walk up and down the ally just looking at everyone's stuff. Get off my stuff sir I say to them!! Hmmm...I'm so fat. I can't even see my feet...Oh wait never mind. My shirt was just rolled up...false alarm. Let me think...I must have something to talk about. Ah gee this is must pointless. Sorry folk, I'll come back when I have something better to talk about. In the mean time, think of this as just a message saying hi. So........ Hi people!!

05:22 pm: My trek ends....
I was told to update. So here it is! Actually, I figured I'd right a little something...since I write monthly...and next month I'll be the big one eight...and the girlfriend is only the small one five...and I may be put away. Apparently robbing cradles is now a crime. Who knew?? Truthfully though I felt like updating. I really don't know why...maybe it was the bad pudding I ate earlier...yeah. I decided I was hungry for something chocolatey...and the only chocolate thing in the whole house was this pudding. Maybe I should have checked the expiration date cuz this pudding did not taste like pudding. It tasted almost exactly like...expired pudding. But I don't think pudding has an expiration date. Well, anyway, I decided to liven up my chocolatey chum bowl with some cool whip. You know...the squeeze kind that you feel the urge to squeeze right in your mouth? That kind. Hmm...maybe I should checked the expiration date on that too...cuz I tell you what...I ain't making pudding or eating cool whip for a long long time. Or eating for that matter. They should invent packaging for food that turns colors when its bad. I don't mean like, you know when cheese goes bad cuz I turns green, or you know milk goes bad cuz it's chunky. I mean like, if cool whips bad, or puddings bad, the package turns blue or green so you know to stay away. Cuz I tell you what...if ever I was abducted or something and brought back like, 2 months later...I'm going to be hungry. I can't live off space food or those little capsules or whatever aliens eat. I'm gunna want some food! But I sure ain't gunna be too happy if I find my produce gone bad as I'm eating it. I'd like to know before hand. Food capsules...hmmm...I wonder if they have pudding flavor...or if that goes bad...Does pudding even go bad!? Wow...all this talk about pudding has made me hungry. I'm gunna go see if we have any. Or maybe some space capsules! ...or...maybe just the pudding...

08:49 pm: And so it goes...
So it goes indeed. And here it goes again! Yet another journal entry. You know, it's not always easy finding nothing to write about. Ideally, everything is something. Except of course if something is nothing. Then...I guess it could be nothing. It takes a really big nothing to be something. But, apparently I have a magical refrigerator. Laugh all you want, but my refrigerator has some sort of magic hex. Okay. We had this carton of orange juice in our refrigerator. It’s been there a while I suppose…no more then a week or so though. So, I goes upstairs to grab myself a tall glass of some rich vitamin c filled goodness. I take it out of the fridge. Open it up…and it fizzes. You know, like when you open a pop. And this struck me as odd…but really didn’t think much of it. So I pour the orange juice…ahh…so orange…isn’t it funny how something is named for its color? If someone asked me what my favorite color was, I’d say Mountain Dew. Anyways. I take a sip of my recently poured juice. And…it tasted very funny. It was fine a couple days ago…but for some odd reason…it tasted just like wine. Was it possible my once sweet and good for kids orange juice fermented within the confines of my very own fridge in a matter of weeks? Nay, days?! Hmmm…what monstrosity is being in trusted of my very food source? Who knows what will happen to the milk next. Ice cream perhaps? A million dollars maybe?? We soon shall see...we soon shall see...

07:42 pm: There's nothing like nothing when nothings around.
Well, I had an idea of what I should write about. But then I forgot. Actually...to tell you the truth...I had no idea. I made that part up. But I did forget about it! Actually... I haven't written a poem in a while. I'll write a poem! But what about... I dunno. I could write about... my day! What could be more interesting than my day? I'll tell you what...nothing! It's like I always say, there's nothing like nothing when nothings around. And let me tell you, nothing is around. So here goes!

So here I am, writing about my day,
A most interesting topic, if I must say.
I could talk about school, and the events that took place…
But all that is boring, so I’ll cut to the chase.
I drank some Mountain Dew! That’s some good news.
With that refreshing green-like liquid, I’ll never sing the blues.
I ate a whole lot… that I really hate…
I looked at the scale today…I’m way overweight.
Maybe I’ll go on a very strict diet,
Eh, it might work…I may as well try it.
All right, I grow bored with this entry…
It seems that to write it is taking a century.
Maybe next time I’ll write something better,
At least I’m better than this that making a sweater?

Haha, I’m done here. Later all!

08:23 pm: Can I get a Nok-ta-Rok??
Nothing quite like the call of the wild. You know what? I got a very flattering comment today. Actually no, it was about a week or so ago. But it still was a flattering comment. It had something to do with my journal? And how it had to do with like, Mountain Dew. So, to that person, yes. Mountain Dew is good. I'll have words with anyone who says otherwise. Remember a while back hen I had that little round sticky white thing? Well... I found it. It was buried in the desk. It didn't seem right you know? How something so round, and so white...and so...umm, sticky...was just so sheltered from society. I decided. It needed to breath. It needed to be free. It needed to spread its joy across the world. Well, at least just across the desk in my basement. And besides, I found a mate for it. Could it be you ask? Yet another sticky round white thing? Is that the question you inquire with eager anticipation for an answer? No you fools. There is and will always be just one sticky round white thing. Ever. But, its this small clear non-sticky box with a hole in it. And guess what! The hole fits the sticky round white thing perfectly! It is like it was fate they should be one. And on all for corners of the small clear non-sticky box...there are 4 smaller holes.... Awww!!!! For the babies! The baby round sticky white things! Yes...there will be 5 of them in all....even though there can be only one.... I really need to get out more. But then I ask...why? See ya 'round people.

06:08 pm: Ahhh, back in the saddle
So, I checked the date this morning, and realized I as several days late for yet another journal entry. So...I know I am supposed to update once every other month, but I just can't right that much! I know what you all must be thinking. There had to be some reason for me to come back and do an entry. And you're right. I do have a reason. And really, I can sum it all up into one word. What is the word you ask? Well, take a guess! It's not like there are that many words I use. Okay, I might as well tell you. After all, what kind of person would I be to leave you all hanging on this one emotionally life altering word that will shock and amaze a good half of you. So hear I go.......wait..........what was I saying? Huh...oh well. I'm sure if it was that important, it'll come back to me later. I guess I can't say this is the first time I left my viewers hanging in suspense. Like that one time I was gone for a really long time, and was going to tell everyone this one word that would sum up exactly why I was writing again after so long, then forgot. Ahh, those were good days...Good days... Well, that's enough excitement for me for one day. See ya next time!

09:13 pm: Dun da da dun dun dun DUN!!!!!!!!!!
Time now for this....Live Journal!! I tell ya, what a summer! Nothin' like it in the world. Except maybe....anything else. If you like burning hot weather, bugs, and lots of other stuff...take my summer. Although...there's nothing like ice cool Mountain Dew on a hot summer day...and some Jennifer Love Hewitt. Yeah...beats the hot sun, and bugs...and other stuff. I wish I had a thousand dollars. You know what, I saw the weirdest thing today. That's right. You guessed it! You know what's wrong with the world...people think too much. When you think, nothing good happens. So don't think. Ever. Say like, you're standing in the middle of the road, and a truck is coming. If you stand by and think about what to do...you'll probably end up getting hit by a comet or something. Then you'll get very hurt, or more than likely, get very very hurt. If you're swimming with hungry sharks with a suit made of used fish heads, or unused fish heads...whatever's cheapest...probably the used ones if you want my advice...that way you won't have to spend so much...and you stop to think about why you're doing this, then you've just bought yourself a one-way ticket to gones-ville. That's right my friends. So, thinking is bad. Oh sure, some will argue that thinking is a good thing... They'll say things like, think twice before you do that, and, thinking is a good thing...and, thinking rules. That's just what a thinker would say. But if you ever do find yourself thinking, and something bad happens, (which it will) just stop thinking about what you did because you thought. Then all will be good. And now I must go. Bye my fellow people!

By the way; This entry was done with absolutely no thought at all.

10:54 pm: Sweat, blood, and maybe some juice...
Hm hm hm...another day, another dime. I would have said nickel......but dimes are worth more. Today was good. I did nothing. Like, literally... sat in the same chair here for oh say...3-4 hours. If I can accomplish that in itself, my day is complete. Boring? Hardly. Grrr! There is this mosquito flying around and around....right in front of my computer! He's been doing it for hours now! Doesn't he get bored? Doesn't he have family? What if he is actually a she...? Is it actually a camera? And someone is spying on me? I dunno...but I'm gunna get to the bottom of this whole mosquito escapade...he's hiding...a tricky one...Blast, I can't find him. Or her. The camera... Hey get this. I'm at the dentist the other day. Oh wait! There it is! Okay...he flew away. Okay, so I'm at the dentist. The nurse person, stats you know, going to work. Then she takes the sharp metal poker thing that cleans teeth, and proceeds to pierce my gums with it. Then, she says, "Jeez Mike, your gums are bleeding pretty badly." I'm like, well when you poke at them with a sharp object they're going to bleed! Then she tells me it's my fault. If she didn't want them to bleed, she shouldn't stab them. Wouldn't it be great if by the end of this entry, I caught that mosquito? I will too. Hold on... He/she/it is too cunning! YES! I killed it! My day is officially complete. Okay, I'm gone. Bye fellows!

10:16 pm: Strange.....
It's like, the soothing sounds of a sound that sooths the soothingness of the soothing sound. Too fast for ya? Don't worry. After reading it over again, I don't get it either. So here we have ourselves yet another boring night with nothing to do. You're bored too. Otherwise I do believe you wouldn't be online, reading livejournals. Mine no less. I'm just chillin'...watching T.V. Dude...there's some wild stuff on. Especially the commercials. I love a good commercial. Like the one for the skippy peanut butter squeeze tip tube things. Answer me this...who in their right mind wants to eat raw peanut butter from a tube? Eeewww... Alright, in Mr. Skippy's defense, I like a good spoon of peanut butter every once in a while. Why the eeewww then? Let's just say, I had a bad experience. One time, I opened a new tub of peanut butter, and it was all watery on top. Kinda turned me off to raw peanut butter a little... So now, whenever I think of raw peanut butter, I think of that one time, when a pool of water sat atop of my once solidified...um...peanut buttery...goodness. Yeah... Well, I completely grossed myself out. Maybe I'll go have myself a bowl of peanut butter with some ice cold water. Wow... just eft for like, 10 minutes and realized I still had this up. Okay, then it's time to update. Later fellow people.

10:07 pm: The Incredible Rhyming Journal!
Tonight I thought I'd try something new...
So this entry will rhyme just for you.
I'll start by talking about my day.
Pretty uneventful I guess you could say.
I did the usual, and around I just sat.
I slept a lot....just like a cat!
As for now, I am watching Raw.
Women with hot legs... I'm stuck in awe...
Okay I recovered, now where was I?
Oh yes, hot legs, I'm a leg kinda guy.
Oh boy am I thirsty....I have been for a while.
My mouth is so dry, I could probably drink up the Nile.
Well, maybe I exaggerated just a small bit,
But if I had Mountain Dew, the spot it would hit.
I wonder how much longer, this poem here should be...
I dunno, what's the time, the clock I can't see...
Ah, look at the time, it's getting quite late...
I think I have homework...grr, school work I hate.
All right then it's settled....going I am,
Ugh I feel fat...like a plump Christmas ham...
Well, I hope you all enjoyed my rhyming-ning ness...
Until next time my fellow people, you all I shall miss!

09:24 pm: Time once again for the journal
Ahhh...once again, another day of nothing. Anyone can do something with their day, but to do absolutely nothing takes skill. You did it Mike. There ain't nothing like...nothing. Oh sure, maybe I did go places...kinda. And say I did kinda do stuff. But in the end, isn't that the most nothing you can do? The answer, is no. And by no, I mean, yes, which is a negative. I'm stopping now. I rarely confuse myself...but when I do, that's when I know to stop. Oh! Here's a story I need to tell you all! Okay, so I'm picking up some dry cleaning. So the girl gets my jacket, and I pay or it... yadda yadda yadda. Then she hangs it up, you know, as I paid for it. Then she gives me the, "Have a nice day." Then, get this, then she says, "Don't forget your coat." Don't forget my coat? What kinda of person goes to the dry cleaners to pick up a coat, then forgets it? It was a total bash to my intelligence! Forget my coat? How could I forget it? Does she think that I would just walk into some dry cleaners place, leave money, then leave? So as I was leaving, I had a feeling. Upon further thought of the situation, I had...um...almost forgotten the jacket on the way out. But one must wonder! Would I have forgotten the jacket, if she didn't make me think that I could have forgotten the jacket? If she said nothing at all, would it have made all the difference? I don't know! How dare she make me question my intelligence! But then again, if that experience had never happened...what else would I have to write about? This is some serious Matrix crap here. Wow, there really is no spoon. All right, I fried my own brain enough for one night. Later fellow people!

05:59 pm: Springing from break...celebrating with a journal entry!
Springing from break, celebrating with a...wait, said that. To tell you all the truth though, it really wasn't a spring break. No... What's that you say? You ask me what is was then? Well, although it felt like spring indeed, and it was a break from school, I would have to call it something like, "Time period of a late school reprieve." So how was everybody's time period of a late school reprieve? I think I need another time period of a late school reprieve. I'm overdosing on these certs here...you know, Certs! Powerful mints, with retsyn crystals. Spearmint. I usually don't put things in my mouth if I can't pronounce the name, but in this case, with a name like spearmint, I couldn't look away. It would be better though if the name had a few more Z's. Z must be the coolest letter in the alphabet man. You can add a Z to anything and it will sound cool. Like, Certz, powerful mintz. Oh yeah. That is like, a wicked cool title. Say, you take something totally uncool, like... "The totally uncool thing Mike is using for an example." And add a few Z's anywhere, then it'll be like, "The totally Zuncool thing Mike iz u-zing for examplez." Oh yeah! Definitely much much cooler. Much...cooler. I wish my name had Z. Michael Zarrington. I could be a super hero! The...Zarrinator. Zarrinating it up old zchool ztyle. All right. Maybe if updated more I wouldn't have so much to say. Maybe... Until next time. Bye fellow people!

09:31 pm: I have the strongest palms in the world.
I'm sittin' here...watching T.V. What else is new? Well, I'm watching T.V.!! Well, and updating my journal. Okay, let's see...any new business? Well, has anyone ever seen that new toy line for kids, where it's like, old junk turned into something cool? Like, they make a toilet...turn into a car? I have no idea what I'm talking about? Well, I do. Kinda...hm...tough crowd. I need me some wooden teeth. Like G. Washington. I can't stand those colon cancer commercials. With that guy in the red...um...colon suit. The two docors....they're always eating Chinese food! What's up with that? Does Chinese good reduce colon cancer risk? Is the red guy the colon in us? Is there some kind of hidden mystical mind twisting message within the commercials? Or is it just a deranged man inside a colon suit being chased by a pair of Chinese food eating weirdo people who seeming live in their car, awaiting for the next chance to make a joke about a life threatening issue, and not to mention fools of themselves? You decide. Nonetheless, I am amused by their crazy antics. Alight...I'm done for the night. Bye my fellow people!

09:38 pm: Okay, I gotta see if I can still do this...
Okay well, I'm kinda rusty at this...journal...thing. So don't expect a super entry. Or do. I just had three oranges. Three!! Well, okay. They are not really oranges....but they are. Clementines. But three nonetheless. The only other time I had three oranges was never. I gotta invent a heated steering wheel. How many times have all you drivers, or people who are driven, heard or complained about the how the driver or yourself discuss how cold the steering wheel was? The answer, is no. And by no, I do mean yes. Which is to say, not not not no...I think. Did I say that right? Whatever. When I am rich from my invention, I will be too busy with my jewels and swimming in my pool of furs to notice my mistakes in the past. Ahhh....I better sit down before I hurt myself. I am sitting down... I need another orange. Yeah......ooo hoo hoo!!! Oranges, the other other orange meat! Bye my fellow people!